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Wednesday, January 26, 2005
You Know You Are "White Trash" When.....
Please don't take this as a profession to my "White Trashiness." Sure, there's a corner of my world that I remember that involved a small town, cow-tipping, big trucks, ball caps, flannel shirts and potlucks....but I dun grown up!
You know you are "White Trash" when.....
You have a can of "Beanee Weenees" in your cupboard
You know, or know someone who has gone cow-tipping
You have had to use an outhouse (especially if it is in your backyard)
Your idea of home improvement is attaching a camper shell to your double-wide
You decorate your window with the sheet Aunt Phyllis gave you for your birthday
You repair a cracked window with foil paper (you know, cuz it's purty)
You keep a can of Raid by the kitchen sink
The only picture you have of your husband Ernie is the one where he's holdin' up that plaque with numbers on it (and he don't look happy)
The sight of blind kids playing the banjo doesn't faze you
You have a horse tank in your backyard (and NO, it's NOT A SWIMMING POOL)
You call butter "oleo"
You still have a rotary phone in your trailer, er, home
You use Aqua Net for that "all day" up-do
You never had a dentist, and now you don't need one
You know what "7-Up Cake" is
You've ever made "spaghetti" with ramen noodles
Your idea of fine dining is eating out of butter bowls
You have a hairnet
You know the words to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"
You know who the Oakridge Boys are
You wore cowboy boots to prom (or that "company" Christmas party)
You can relate and empathize with the girl on Montel who doesn't know who the father of her child is
You are one of the guys that could be the father of her child
Please don't take this as a profession to my "White Trashiness." Sure, there's a corner of my world that I remember that involved a small town, cow-tipping, big trucks, ball caps, flannel shirts and potlucks....but I dun grown up!
You know you are "White Trash" when.....
